I've read more birth stories than you could possibly imagine and now I feel like I have entered a secret society, and it's finally time for me to get to share mine.
I really thought the night before our scheduled c-section would be impossible to get through, but oddly enough it wasn't. I worked ferociously on my quilt, getting as much done as I could (I got quite far thank you!) and before I knew it, it was almost midnight and I was stuffing my face with the last morsels I could before my doctor-ordered-cut-off-from-food-before-surgery began, and then I was ready for bed. The next morning wasn't as easy to get through! Our bathroom was still being remodeled so once everyone was up, we packed up our shower stuff and headed over to Grandma Tino's where I got ready. I was really emotional. All the sudden I had this overwhelming feeling that I would miss being pregnant terribly. I cried in the shower: This was my last pregnant shower. I cried getting dressed: this was the last time I would wear this dress pregnant. Little didn't know I what was so close on the other side was going to be way better! FINALLY it was 11:15 and Josh and I were giving the girls hugs and heading to the hospital. Every step I took felt surreal.. I just kept thinking it's almost time. He's going to be here!!
We ran into a hiccup while doing the paperwork for admittance. She finished up and said "ok you are scheduled for 3, come back at 1:30." Ahhh no we aren't! We are scheduled for 1:30, and due to come in, NOW! So we stepped outside and called my doctor's office. Ten minutes later her nurse called me back and said go back in, they are ready for you! Then the whirlwind began. A nurse got us settled in a room, asked a bunch of questions and said it would be a few minutes. The next thing I knew, they were having me walk to the OR room to get an epidural. This was the only part where I got a little scared because Josh wasn't allowed to come with me and all the sudden I felt very alone. However, I had a really nice nurse (ya for awesome nurses!) and it really didn't hurt to get the epidural. As soon as he was done, they flew into action, and the next thing I knew Josh was standing there in scrubs, camera around his neck and holding my hand. 5 minutes later, I heard Jack cry for the first time and my eyes just filled with tears instantly. (They are now, too, as I write this.) I will never ever in my life forget that moment and how amazing it was.
Backtracking a little - it was almost funny from my perspective because I could not feel anything and all I could hear was my tiny doctor (they had to provide a step stool for her) grunting and panting and all these comments that wow he's big.. man he's really in there. All along my doctor had estimated he'd be around 7 lbs, but he was a whoppin 9 lbs 2 oz! I think if it was acceptable she would have straddled me to get him out! Either way she did an awesome job.
The next few days morphed into one. The nurses continued to be awesome and every few hours I felt better than the hour before. In the mornings Josh came and we had about 3 hours just the three of us and it was really nice to have that. Then from noon to 8pm we had a steady stream of visitors and Josh left to have dinner with the girls and would come back with them until 8. Then, selfishly was another favorite part of the day for me. Jack and I were on our own. I'd lay him to the side of me in bed and just watch him for hours. The nurse always left the door cracked for me so I could hear life beyond our room but other than that I kept the lights low, and the TV off and Jack and I just stared at each other (or at least he stared at a blurry version of me).
Since coming home from the hospital, our lives have changed dramatically. Our routines, needs, desires... everything is in a new perspective. It was incredibly hard to wave goodbye to Josh after being home for just two days and he had to go back to work. I was grateful for Pattie to be here that morning because I was a wreck! There are times that I'm up at night feeding Jack and I'm so tired but I'll look down and see him and all the sudden, I don't feel tired, I just feel an insane amount of love - as cheesy as that may sound. He just makes it all worth it!
So stay tuned as life continues with Josh, Jack and the girls, we are bound to have a few great stories along the way!
Monday, August 2, 2010
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