Doing my dutiful duty..... I am copying. It's more.... in response... playing devil's advocate? However you want to see it. My dear friend Gina posted a blog about how when you turn 26 you start dying. So what do you make of your life. I'll admit I have brief moments of "omg, I am 24, its not old, but I have been on this Earth for 24 years. What have I done with myself? What do I WANT to do, is there time?" and I go into a full fledged 30 second panic attack before I tuck those dandy little thoughts right into that "I can't deal with this" corner of my brain, and go back to my world of bliss.
Sure, there is always the "go back to school route"... but just as I was warned so many times, once you leave its so hard to go back... I find it hard, not impossible, but hard to see where I would have time right now to fit school in. Don't hear me wrong, it's no excuse. I know if I REALLY wanted to do it, it would work, I get that. But at this point my opinion is, I want the piece of paper that says "Degree in blah blah blah" for the main reason of advancing in my career. Duh you say? Well hang on. I read Gina's blog, and yes, I do love her little Peter Pan mentality that if she keeps picking further degrees and stays in school she'll "still be a kid" (albeit, a kid older than me HAHA!) but, there is also a passion in Gina's decision to move forward with nursing school. Gina has always talked about feeling a need to serve a purpose to help others, its embedded strongly in her. I however, do not have that. LOL selfish right? No I'm not talking about the overwhelming need to help others. I'm not a mean person of course I'm always willing and find it fulfilling to help. I'm talking about the passion on her decision. she knows, dead on, thats what she wants. There is nothing I can say that about career wise right now. So that makes me linger. I keep waiting for it to slap me on the forehead.... how much longer do I wait?
On the flip side, Josh and the girls have shown me there is SO much more to life than work. So my trade off right now, in not taking the time to go to college and work full time, is that my time home, is so precious and valuable to me. Do we start dying at 26? Maybe, I don't know... can't really change it if I cared right? I'd rather think of it in terms of you are now old enough to begin planting the seeds to pass the torch. Yesterday, Josh and I bought Math Bingo for Kali (omg we are so nerdy, when did this happen) because they say kids loose SO much during summer months. Sure enough it took her a few minutes to remember how to multiply but while I sat there watching her 8 year old brain process the question and work through to get the answer, it was neat. You just realize how much potential this new canvas of a brain has. Kali is one smart cookie, and I see how far she can go in the world, just as I'm sure my Dad saw in me.... so maybe I'm just over thinking this and I need to let whats going to happen, happen and realize I am already on my path, and still have so many more miles to burn.
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