5 days from now..

I'm gonna be a mommy!! Holy crap when did this happen?! I think I can officially say that I am excited. That word doesn't even really seem worthy of the feelings in my heart right now. This week has flown by. Last Friday when we scheduled the c-section, I thought for sure time would grind to a stand still, but it actually hasn't. I think being off work, Josh being back to work and the girls being with their mom this week had something to do with it. Initially I'd think this scenario would have the opposite effect! However, I've been a busy bee! Pattie and I had our 2nd installment to the quilting class last night, so I spent the week (mostly at Pattie's, in the air conditioning!) finishing up my blocks. When I wasn't doing that, I was sneaking in lunches with Josh, spending way too much time at Target and running other fun errands where normally I have 3 people (who I love) less than a step behind me asking if we are done yet! So this was like a whole new world. On top of all that, our bathroom (with the only shower!) was gutted this week! You can tell we Dix's don't like dull moments. So, needless to say, the week has flown by and I can hardly believe that next Wednesday Jack will be here. I am so thrilled words can't even describe.

So to back pedal a bit I have to tell you that I am having so much fun learning how to make my first quilt. Pattie and I left class last week with the assignment to create 36 blocks. I will post pictures soon, I promise. So last night, we showed up with our blocks and began to assemble what our quilts will look like. I think everyone, self included has stereo types about quilting and who does it.. .namely... our Grandmas. Well this just totally blew that opinion out of the water for me. I looked back and forth between Pattie's table and my table where our blocks were spread out. Pattie's looked like Pattie - these frenchy bistro sophisticated gorgeous fabrics... it's stunning! Then you look at mine, which is ALL over the place, bright colors, stripes, polka dots... I absolutely love it! So while we use the same mold... you can make it however you want, whatever you want, in any way you want. It's been SO FUN!

I'm aching to show you pictures, however I am seeking refuge at Dad and Pattie's house again today... mainly because the water is off at my house for the bathroom, and it's hotter than all hell in our house this week! I promise to take pictures tonight if my camera hasn't melted beyond oblivion so you can see how the quilt is coming along!

So, I feel all over the place with excitement and I think the scatteredness of this blog reflects that today! I'll keep you posted and hopefully fill you in a few more details before the madness begins next week!! TTFN!

A Busy Bee on Maternity Leave!

So last Friday, the 2nd, marked my last day of work. WOOOHOOOO!! I had no clue how uncomfortable I would be at work towards the end here, and am so grateful to find out that I was able to take the time off of work before having Jack as well. So, I'm home! Coincidentally, Amgen has a summer shut down the week following the 4th of July, so Josh was home with me this week too, as were the girls. We had fun! Last year we made tons of plans for day trips, etc... but that wasn't really in the cards this year. So we had fun doing lots of arts and crafts around the house, movies, park visits, etc. I think the girls were just stoked to have so much time with Josh, which always warms my heart to see.

A few other rather noteworthy things happened this week. At our doctor's appointment, we made the official decision to schedule a c-section. There are lots of reasons behind it I won't bore you with but I will tell you that I left the doctor's office feeling the best I've felt emotionally in a long time. I can be honest and tell you that during this entire pregnancy I had only viewed a c-section as the "what they have to do if something doesn't go as planned" option and that is as far as my mind went. But having that become a possible reality and going thru the roller coaster of making the decision, I was immediately confident as we walked to the car that this was the right decision for Jack and I. I can't explain it other than it just feels right in my gut... and that I have slept better than I have in weeks! So I'm goin with it and not lookin back! So.... I bet you are wondering when the big day is! Assuming everything goes as planned, baby Jack's birthday will be July 21st!!! Mind you, 2 days short of being a Leo (like his mama) which I selfishly wanted, but what can you do! We are SO EXCITED I can't even tell you how impossible it feels to get thru these next 11 days!!

One thing I strategically planned for in hopes that it would offer a much needed distraction to get thru the last few days... was the quilting class! Remember? This was the class Pattie and I signed up for together about a month ago that I've been way excited to go to. Well it was this week! I started to get nervous that I was a little too confident in my very beginner sewing skills. Just looking at all of that fabric I was not convinced that someone was going to easily be able to help me make heads or tails of it. Boy was I wrong. Within minutes, the teacher was breaking it down in such a way that I saw the light! It all makes perfect sense. Now I"m not saying that mine will look perfect, I get the concept just find, the execution is what needs practice, haha! But Pattie told me something right away.. a saying she actually has on the wall above her sewing machine at home: Finished is better than perfect! So I'm keeping that mentality in mind and having a blast. I'd rather finish and see what I would want to different the next time then get frustrated and leave it half done. So far I've burned thru half of my "homework" to have finished before our follow up class next week. I'm having a blast, it's so fun!! As it starts to come together I will post pictures of my progress because lets be honest, you can't wait to see!! :)

I think that catches you up on the big things this week!! Josh goes back to work on Monday, and the girls go to their mom's tomorrow... so I'm sure I'll post again with less of a gap as the last time. Stay tuned!!

OK Brain, it's a little too late for this.

I'm closing in on my due date, and I couldn't be happier, I am so excited. So why is it that the mind games start now? In "What To Expect When Your Expecting" they pin pointed this exact thing happening to exactly right now so I'm not sure why I'm surprised, I guess I just thought, as usual these stereotypes wouldn't include me. (Wrong again!)

It started this morning, at my doctor's appointment. They were running behind so we spent a while in the waiting room. There was a woman I'd guess around 5-6 months pregnant who also had a little girl in a stroller. I am horrible guessing ages, so I'd say I'd be surprised if she was much older than 2. So being the natural nosey parker that I am, I was watching them. Mom was reading a magazine while girl was being a ham, seeing that she had my eye. Eventually she got restless (hell, we were too, they were REALLY behind) and she began crying. Don't misread me, I'm not getting a twitch from her crying, its kids, its part of life, we've dealt with the girls crying before, I'd never give a dirty look over that. So mom handed her a few things before she finally decided one would suffice... water in a sippy cup. I then watched for the next 10 minutes while she sprinkled everything around her with water... and I'm sorry, thats when I began to twitch. Mom didn't even seem to notice. So I started wondering... am I just that uptight that I would make her stop? Am I out of line for thinking that it's rude shes watering the couch, floor and magazines at the doctors office? Will my opinion change on this once Jack is born? Will just the fact that he's not crying outweigh my original thoughts of what he should or shouldn't be doing? Am I gonna be that no fun parent that says stop it to everything? My brain is going this fast when they call us back. Great, first big seed of doubt.

Next, I won't bore you with the details but my weekly check to see how things are progressing was still painful even though the ultrasound earlier in the week revealed everything is OK. It ended up getting us into a deep conversation with the doctor on the possibility of an elective C-Section. It's in my nature to share (hello, welcome to my blog) so it comforts me to hear several opinions when I'm harboring a large decision. So I start calling out to family, and admittedly am surprised. Not hurt or in disagreement, just surprised. You have your own image of yourself, everyone does - how you feel you are, how you act, etc. I've always thought I have a steady tolerance for pain, given the things I've experienced. The overwhelming consensus from just about everyone is that I in fact do not. Me? A whimp? Wait - no I'm not. I'm tough chick that can handle anything, who kills spiders and pulls monsters out from under beds and kisses booboos better. Well those are all great and true... but a lot of that is in magical fairy la la land. I don't disagree with the general public on this one I guess I just never saw myself that way and in all honesty, its disappointing. Big seed of self doubt number 2.

At the end of the day does it matter if I'm a whimp? No of course not.... is it fine to stay in my magical la la land where I kick ass and protect everyone... lol, sure! Why not? Am I going to be one of those moms who says stop it to everything.. I sure hope not.... but these are all things I have to experience to find out, so I can take these seeds of self doubt and plant them and hide behind them or I can push thru and find out for myself just how tough I am and what kind of mom I will be. Wish me luck!

A Roller Coaster Weekend

I'm tired. It felt like we dealt with a lot this past week.... some little, some big.... a lot of emotions tied to it all!

First, this was the first week of summer, which meant the girls were with us. We also were able to squeeze in a few extra days with an extra weekend so they were here for 10 days. It was awesome. However, a totally new routine for us to adjust to. Luckily they were able to spend the days up with Grandma Tino, but it still proved tricky to wake them up and get them moving in time to get us to work. It wasn't anything a little extra planning couldn't take care of, but it was definitely a new routine for us! Add to that, Kali had to go to the dentist this week. Thinking it would only be a cleaning and assessment of more dental work we knew was lurking, we asked Granny (Josh's mom) if she wouldn't mind taking her as she'd be off of work. She agreed, and we were grateful, it's been hard getting so much work off for my appointments as it is. Well, Kali ended up needing two teeth pulled right then and there. Boy did we feel like schmucks then. The next hour at work waiting to get off and go see her were torture. I felt so terrible that one of us wasn't with her and it was so hard to be stuck at work! She's a trooper and did fine though.

In addition to that, I had my now weekly doctor's appointment. This was supposed to be my first appointment to check for dialation. I laid there on the table waiting for her to come in... day dreaming about all the things she could say.. my my my loookie here, you are further along than we thought! Those kinds of wishful thinkings. Well what I didn't expect to hear was that he had turned breech, something is blocking my birth canal (sorry if that's just a tad bit TMI for you... but you can just go ahead and get over that) and I might need to start preparing myself for the idea of a c-section. In the meantime I need to go get a detailed ultrasound to find out whats up. I walked out of the appointment dizzy from the 180 my thoughts just did. I walked to the car kind of confused, but reminded myself that I heard his heart beat, saw him on the monitor.. he's healthy and fine and if it were something she was urgently worried about, she wouldn't have sent me home. My appointment for the ultra sound is tomorrow.

So.... much to my relief, the weekend came. However, step outside of my world centered around us, and a huge event was happening this weekend. My oldest sister, Katie, was getting married! Her wedding was up where she lives, in the San Jose area. It had been up in the air on whether or not I'd be able to go, given the distance and how close I am to my due date. Unfortunately last week at my doctor's appointment, she just did not feel comfortable with me traveling so I was not able to go. I had thought I had prepared myself to come to terms with this, but the day of the wedding I found myself very sad to be missing what will arguably be one of the most memorable days of her life. What ended up being pretty cool, short of being there, of course... was my other sister Amy attended the wedding and took about a million pictures with her phone, and sent me everything with play by plays of what was going on in the moment. I sat there like a blubbering fool crying over how beautiful everything looked and how pretty my sister's dress was. I am so thankful for Amy sending me all of that.

I'm guessing what happened next was a combination of a little nesting kicking in... and my compulsive need to clean and feel in control when my emotions get to the best of me. Before I knew it, I was in Jack's room sorting, organizing, finding more things that I could justify needed to be washed. I had the vacuum out and was in every corner of Jack's room getting every crumb, spec of dust you name it picked up. It wasn't until I was half way thru vacuuming the blinds - which I can say I have never ever done in my life... that I realized maybe I needed to slow down and take it easy. Ahhh.. too late. I sat down and my back immediately screamed at me. So I tried to take it easy the rest of the night.

Well, no such luck. We went to bed around 11... which as you know really means I fell asleep on the couch around 9, and Josh woke me up at 11 so I could lean on him while he helped me make my way to bed around 11. At 12:30 I woke up thinking owwww..... I'm totally about to get my period. (again, sorry for TMI but you opened the blog, not me)... then about 20 seconds later my head went wait.. that's not right. Enter false labor. For the next 10 hours or so every 10 to 30 minutes I got to experience what I'm guessing was a "way milder than the real deal" contractions felt like. Mild or not, they woke me up everytime they started up again. By the time they stopped around 10am... everything in my body ached. So we spent Sunday doing our best to be as lazy as possible and succeeded.

Anyway, thats pretty much what our weekend was about. Nothing horrific or anything like that, just a lot of emotions coming out at once.

This week is my last week of work and for THAT I am grateful! I am so tired and ready to be home! I can't believe my teddy tracker shows 30 days to go. FINALLY!

Can I have a nap now?

I have mastered...

The art of a 3 point turn around to roll over in bed.

I have a whole new appreciation for massively pregnant chicks.

My Latest Project

As you probably know, I love crafts. I've blogged before about how Pattie taught me to come to terms with the fact that it doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be fun... and ever since I stopped getting upset if it looked like a 5 year old did it, I've been having fun ever since! So with my baby shower coming up, I knew I wanted to get Pattie something to say thank you for all the millions of things she's done for Jack already. It didn't take long to evolve into something I wanted to make instead. Her awesome cousin, Kristi was able to help get started in the right direction on a project idea. I procrastinated in my new found, let's blame it on the pregnancy, laziness. But last week after work, I set out to Joann's alone.. and a glorious hour later, emerged from the store with 3 bags of goodies and ideas I couldn't wait to put into motion.

As I sat on the floor (Which I later regretted when every part of me ached and the only way I could see what I was doing was to lean forward and my foot jabbed into my belly!) I realized how good it felt to have a new project again! The last oh I don't know 80 trips to Joann's in the past 3 years have been with the girls. Which - I love! But those projects are about guiding, teaching them. It's been a while since I had something to do for me, and it felt so therapeutic.

It ended up taking me a few nights to finish the project. As it came together I realized what other items I needed so I ended up back at Joann's a few times. I even enlisted help from Josh - drilling holes for me! In the end, I was so pleased with how it turned out and could not wait to give it to Pattie! So ... here it is!

It was so fun to have a project to work on again.... I'm itching to get back and start something new! Maybe with my new found free time coming up (YAY MATERNITY LEAVE STARTS SOON!) I might just have to squeeze in one more project before Jack arrives!!

My First Quilt!

Ok well I haven't made it yet, but I'm so excited! As you may remember I mentioned that for Mother's Day I made Pattie a certificate saying that I wanted to take a quilting class with her. In the past couple of years, Pattie has gone full speed ahead into the quilting world and made some adorable things!! I'll admit when she first told me she was getting into it, it didn't grab my interest because like most people I associated quilting with my grandma, and flowery old fashioned fabric. Well Pattie very quickly opened my eyes to how cool you can make things... and thats the best part - you can choose to make it look however you want. There's no wrong choice! So for a while now I've been itching to give it a try..... then top off my good fortune that Dad and Pattie gave me an awesome sewing machine for Christmas, as well as a bunch of quilter's basic tools... and I've been ready to go!



So this last Sunday, Pattie and I headed over to Cotton and Chocolate.. her favorite (and adorable, hello look at the name) quilt shop. They have a series of classes offered each quarter.. some covered in a few hours in one day.. some spanning over several. Just depends on how big of a quilt you want to make. What I really liked is that for every class offered, they have a quilt hanging in the store to show you what it looks like. So theres no question, you know exactly what you are making. We settled on a quilt called pint sized polka dots. The class is a Thursday night (now you know Pattie loves me if she's willing to take a class that goes until 9pm LOL) the first week of July. I think it will be a perfect distraction for me to work on the weeks before Jack's here and I'm off of work! Anyway, Pattie asked if I wanted to pick out my fabric now, and this is when I got excited. I had no idea this would be the best part so far! We had so much fun!! I am in shock of how much fabric we had to pick out. Now of course if I had found a honeybun (This is what a honeybun looks like) that I liked, it would have eliminated the need to pick out quite so many individual pieces, but they only had a few choices.



After what was probably an hour later, this is what we walked away with! (Sorry for the bad pic, I was lazy and used my phone, at night.. bad lighting!)




Everything is a bit brighter than the picture projects. I am so excited to go to the class and am so bummed it's a month away! But I'm sure this month will go so fast! I am so curious how they are going to teach me to turn that pile of fabric into a quilt! I will keep you posted!

Well it finally happened....

Someone asked me if I was carrying twins.

Thats right up there with hearing "wow you must be due any day now" when you've still got 2 months to go. I haven't heard that yet, but now I'm not as hopeful that I won't!

The Good Things

It's sooooooooooo easy right now to run off a list of all the things right now that make me cranky, uncomfortable or are just plain weird. But in getting caught up in that, I'm afraid I'm going to miss the awesome amazing cool things that happen too! So rather than tell you about the back aches, heartburn, and sleepless nights (I know I cheated and listed of a few) I'm gonna make you a list of the things I am so extremely grateful for. Some obvious, some funny, some selfish, but all real!

- How amazing it is to think we are bringing a life into this world
- Laying in bed at night while Josh and I watch my stomach move around and feel him kick
- Watching the girls faces the first time they felt him move and how excited they got
- Not realizing that this journey would bring Josh and I even closer together
- A free pass to eat as much ice cream as I want and not have one guilty thought about it
- How strangers are generally nicer to me than they need to be, offering to let me go first in line, or holding doors for me
- When people get excited and touch my belly - I thought this would bother me, but I actually really like it. When else in life are you going to get a reaction like that about your tummy being huge? I figure I can spend the rest of my life trying to disguise a tummy, why not let it be hugged and kissed now?
- When people tell me I'm all belly even though I know where else it's hiding ;)
- Watching Josh sneak yet another onsie into our shopping cart even though everyone under the sun has told him to stop buying clothes until after the shower
- Accepting help - it's hard to do this one... but its one point in my life where I really have toe appreciate the fact that I NEED to slow down and my family and loved ones want to help so I should accept it!
-When I drink a soda or eat candy I can literally feel it give the baby a sugar rush and it makes me laugh
-Hearing Lizzie's list of all the things she wants to teach her nephew how to do
-Picturing my Dad and Pattie as Grandpa and Nana
-Getting one summer off from stressin about being "bikini ready" and embracing the muumuus


I know there are tons more but I'll stop here for now! Thanks for sharing this amazing journey with me!

A Right Of Passage

After being asked when the due date is, if it's a boy or girl, are we excited... the next question usually is, do you have the nursery ready. Nope, we do not! For lots of reasons. For starters, the crib is probably going to start in our room. Josh and I are dead set on not co sleeping - meaning no baby in our bed! However, Josh's experiences tell me those first few weeks/months he'll be up a lot at night and it will just be easier to have him close. The 2nd big reason is that what will be his room is currently the playroom for the girls. So we've wanted to tread lightly and slowly on this big change for them. The last few months we've quietly been cleaning out toys they never play with, and slowly migrating things into their room. One big storage unit will have to stay, but by the time lil' Jack starts having toys, I think they will start phasing out of all the little toys and the timing will be just fine. Anywho, so while ya, it would be fun to have it all set up, I wasn't really in a big rush to do so. Until now. :) And just think - my nesting instincts haven't even taken over yet! It just dawned on me the other day my shower is in like 2 weeks. I don't want to end up with all of this stuff and no where to put it, and then it's just in piles around the house. So I told Josh my goal is to have the dresser and crib set up and waiting by then.

Back track to the first trimester when we announced to the families that we were expecting. Josh's aunt and uncle graciously offered up a crib and huge dresser/table combo set they had for their son, who had recently switched to a toddler bed. We were thrilled! So Steve, Josh's dad, offered to go get the crib for us this week, and brought it over last night. After dinner Josh and I (read, me sitting in the middle of the room watching Josh) began to assemble the crib. As I sat there dutifully watching and not actually helping, I wondered how many future moms and dads had spent a night after work doing exactly this. Then I pictured my mom and dad, very likely in this same room, setting up a crib for Lizzie... and it just struck me as such a neat right of passage. Call it hormones but it actually got me a little teary eyed. This was like joining some new secret club, not just anyone gets to do this.. and suddenly, sitting there in the middle of the still half playroom/half nursery, realizing Josh was building the crib around me and I was soon going to be stuck (it was hysterical trying to get out later), and watching Josh's face as he concentrated to figure it out, I felt so blessed, and so lucky. I think it's all finally starting to feel real.

The only bummer was the crib actually didn't work out - several pieces were broken so we'll need to scrap it and get a new game plan, but I'm not too worried about it!

Things that are just different...

So, it makes sense that there are things you can't do when you are pregnant. You can't drink, probably shouldn't go horseback riding, sky diving... stay away from sushi... those are some common things we all know. But there is a whole nother list of things you just don't think about. I'm not talking about stuff like lifting things - thats actually a pet peeve. I'm not stupid I'm not going to try to move couches or a bed on my own, butI can carry a bag of groceries.. I'm pregnant, not helpless! It's things that I always do that about 20 seconds in, I realize I can't that I get upset over.

A perfect example was that this weekend the girls finally decided to try out the roller skates Granny and Steve had gotten them for Christmas. Granny wanted to help Kali, so Kenzie and I set to work getting her set up with the oh so necessary knee, elbow and wrist pads. Then we waddled down the grass and she started off on the side walk. Where we had to pause, was when she lost her balance and depended on me to hold her up. Any other day, this would have been totally fine... but with my big belly and lack of any core muscles... my back immediately took the brunt. Holy moly that hurt - and more importantly, I was worried I wouldn't be able to really catch her if she fell. So we had to sit and wait for Kali to be tired so Granny could take Kenzie around. I was so frustrated sitting and watching. For the record - both girls did great, Kenzie fell 3 times but much to my delight, she laughed each time.

Another thing that makes perfect sense, but I had never really put that much thought into it, was my health during my pregnancy. Unless you are just one of those annoying people who actually remembers their vitamins every day... I was never like that. I would go through phases of taking them religiously for a week straight, then forgetting for a month. Right now? If I forget... I'll be laying in bed and gasp.. get up, go eat some crackers and take my prenatal vitamins before falling asleep. However, this weekend boasted a whole new problem. I got the stomach flu.. and not just a piddly stomach ache. I'm talking full on, laying on the bathroom floor, can't even keep an ice cube in me. Half way through the day and not having any food in me..it's overwhelming how worried I was about the little guy. But alas, he kicked my stomach (thanks bud, just what I needed) all day long, letting me know he was OK. However, where normally I would have bounced back and been back at work today...I'm still home. I feel so weak and exhausted. So I'm spending the day trying to rest, and eating the most nutrition packed stuff I can to get Jack and I back to normal.

So thats been my excitement. Before Josh and I both got the stomach flu (along with the rest of his family) we celebrated Mackenzie's birthday at the zoo - everyone had a blast!!!

Dogs DEFINITELY have personality!

I should start by saying I am so bummed that I did not take a picture to capture this moment. That being said, here's the story.


Time and time again, I've said to Josh "aww look, Rufus looks sad" or happy, or some other emotion.. and Josh always looks at me and talks like I'm deaf and says "DOGS DON'T HAVE EMOTIONS! THEY ARE DOGS, NOT HUMANS!" And I firmly disagree! Of course they do! Well, I think Rufus finally convinced Josh he does in fact have feelings! Josh and I both have big blankets that we keep in the living room for when we want to snuggle up and watch TV. They were folded up in a stack on the floor and Rufus was laying beside them. I pulled mine up leaving Josh's prized "car B" on the ground. Rufus immediately readjusted and sprawled across the car B.. which is a big no no, but I like a little humor so I left him there. A few minutes later Josh came to join me on the couch and ordered a very sleepy Rufus off of his blanket and yanked it out from under him. What happened next was priceless. Rufus stood there GLARING at Josh... for added effect his eyes were bloodshot since he had just fallen asleep. I could see Josh ignoring him, but after at least a good minute, Josh finally broke and laughed and I said OMG He is SO pissed at you! If Rufus could talk all I could picture were swear words!! It was too funny. He stood there for another minute just staring Josh down, then like a total snob, sauntered off to the playroom where is bed is, and stayed there the rest of the night. He showed us!!!

Josh now believes that dogs can show emotion LOL!

Side note - 75 days to go, WOOHOOO!!!!!!

Turning Into Your Parents

Growing up, I can remember my Dad saying quite often "Megan (or any of my siblings) you left the hall (bathroom, bedroom, patio, kitchen, etc) light on, please go turn it off." This broken record request wasn't limited to just lights. We'd leave doors and windows open in the winter "heating the whole neighborhood" things like that. My personal evil favorite was when we moved into the house he's in now. Before they remodeled, along one wall in the kitchen was a series of cabinets. A few long ones and then a few that opened right at his head level. In my self absorbed years I can't remember if Katie and Lizzie were as bad, but I was notorious for leaving those cabinet doors open, specifically the ones up top. And dear old Dad would come in, distracted, looking at something in his hands, and walk right into the cabinet doors. And naturally, they opened opposite of the direction he was walking so they wouldn't just fall closed. They'd hold firm, usually gashing the corner right into the cute lil' bald spot on the top of his head. I sit here chuckling to myself as I hear "Goddammitall MEGAN" ringing thru my memories. But as I chuckle, I'm reminded of the fact that what goes around comes around. In the years since I've moved out, karma has come full circle in two ways with this one.

I remember when I first moved out, calling my Dad in that first week, joking that I had every light on in the house, I took a shower that lasted an hour, and had the heater running with allllll the windows and doors open. Ahhhh, the freedom!!!! Then I got my first set of utility bills. WHAT THE HECK!?!?!? I even called Dad (landlord) to inquire of possible leaks because there was just no way my water bill was this high. But, probably the best pay back I got - well I'd imagine my Dad would think this is the best... was the day I left one of the top cabinet doors open. This is the only cabinet door that you risk really running into. It sticks out further than the rest, and is at the end of the kitchen, near the doorway into the hall. I woke up one sleepy eyed Saturday, pulled a box of cereal out of the said cabinet and poured a bowl to bring back to bed. I remember adding too much milk, so I was looking down as I walked to make sure I wasn't spilling. I was also walking really fast because I was freezing (now suddenly a cheapskate, I was more willing to hide under 30 blankets than run the heater just for me!) Well you can probably guess where I am going with this. Yep - 5 or 6 quick steps later BAM I ran right into the cabinet... and I didn't just hit my head. It caught me so off guard, and I hit it so hard, I flew back, lost my footing, fell on my butt, dumping the milk and cereal all over me. I could just picture my Dad standing over me going NE NER NE NER NE NER!!!!!!!! Man did I deserve that or what!!!

But the harshest reality I think I've met -that most people who eventually have kids can appreciate was the day I realized... holy crap. I sound like my Dad. All the sudden, all I see is the girls leaving every light on anytime they walk into a room, they leave their TV on anytime they walk away (This solves the mystery of the TV magically turning off growing up - My Dad later explained he'd set the sleep timer on them since we'd walk away half the time leaving it on.) I'm beginning to think Mackenzie thinks the light gremlin is going to eat her hand off in the bathroom if she were to ever turn off the light. I feel like a broken record!!! "you left the light on.. please go turn the TV off... close the fridge door, nothing is going to magically appear, you know what we have....Close the recliner when you crawl out of it so we don't walk into it... close the door you are letting flies in.." After saying it for the 50th time I thought OH NO! I sound just like my Dad! LOL!! But you know what, I get it now. So I guess it's time to pay my dues, and maybe one day in 20 years, Kali and Mackenzie (and eventually Jack) will call me laughing, saying they get it now too.

Mother's Day

Ahh Mother's Day... admittedly a tricky one for me. Our family has dealt with a lot of changes, some sad, some upsetting, some the best thing that every happened to us, and well a lot of that revolves around Moms! But as we get older and we are all falling into our nitch in life, our hearts have lead us to where we want to be and guided us to how we want to express that.

That being said, yesterday was nice and mellow and very relaxed. Josh and I were excited to give our Mother's Day gifts... unfortunately we'll have to wait until today to give his mom her surprise because not everyone was feeling so well yesterday and up for visits. However, I don't think she follows the blog so I'm safe so spoil the surprise on here and talk about what we did!

Denise has been (unsuccessfully - man he's stubborn) trying to guilt trip Josh into painting her bedroom for her. I'm not exaggerating - this has been going on for over a year. They have a love-hate relationship where Josh rags on her 24/7 but when push comes to shove, the first person he calls when he needs advice or help is his mama. So we (I, as Josh keeps joking, there is no we in this activity) came up with the idea that we should offer to get all the supplies and paint her room for her. The only caveat right now is that I can't be around those fumes until after Jack arrives. So I made the certificate you'll see below. I am lazy and just used my iphone for the picture, so its a bit blurry, but you'll get the idea:

The font is a bit blurry, but you can see the certificate is to "Jack's Paint Shop" and the way we explained she'll have to wait until he comes, is by putting "Grand Opening: July 2010" at the bottom. I hope she likes it!!

After spending most of the day being lazy, we headed over to Dad and Pattie's house where Dad and I planned to make Pattie dinner. I will stop here and give a little praise to Dad - I did absolutely nothing to help with dinner. Every time I looked up, he was already taking care of something and telling me he "got it"... I did nothing. Josh even did the dishes, so I literally, did nothing! Thanks Dad and Josh!

Anywho, like a total airhead (let's blame it on baby brain shall we) I forgot to take a picture of what we gave Pattie before we gave it to her! But I can describe it easily enough! The tricky thing with Pattie is she doesn't ask for much and if she needs something, she usually just runs out and gets it. So we all tend to default to gift cards - which I know she loves and they get used, but after a while giving her the same 4 gift cards, you just feel like a schmuck. So, Josh came up with a great suggestion, why don't I think of something she and I can do together. If you know Pattie, one of the very first things that comes to mind is that she LOVES sewing, specifically quilting. For Christmas I was spoiled enough by my parents to get a new sewing machine that is absolutely amazing. Then, just to make me feel like it was Christmas all over again, Pattie brought over a ton of tools to get me started on quilting! It was so thoughtful of her. I love seeing her excitement in something, and what honestly makes it seem like so much fun to me is the idea that it's something we can share together. VIOLA! Let's take a quilting class together! So what we 'made' for her, was another certificate as well. Al beit she may have to 'dumb it down' a little for me and go to a class that will be fairly easy for her, but the idea of getting to share that together sounds great. So since she is the expert I asked her to let me know where we should book the class, and hopefully we'll be on our way soon!

p.s. I think she loved the idea! :)

As the day came to an end I was laying in bad last night thinking wow, starting next year, Mother's Day is gonna be a bit different for me! I smiled, thinking well, just another addition on our Mom saga for the family, and this one is definitely one I'm looking forward to.

Our Garden is BACK!!

Ok, I know you've been anxiously waiting at the edge of your seat for me to post that we've done something with our garden. For those of you who don't religiously read my blog or go back and re read my blog endlessly... here's the short story:


A year ago Pattie gave me an idea to start a fairy garden for the girls, which they LOVED the concept of. The reality? We killed the flowers, twice. So, Pattie and I came to the conclusion that while part of it may be my lack of a green thumb, our dirt was old, untouched for years and icky. So D&P said you dig the planter out and we'll fill it. Well that planter ended up being about 18 feet long 3-4 feet wide and 2 feet deep. It was a monster to dig. Well by the time we accomplished this task, it was closing in on winter. So we waited. 2 weeks ago D&P brought over 10 bags of soil and 3 euonymus (sounds like yowannamus!) shrubs. But alas, that weekend it began to rain, and the following weekend we all were busy. Nervous that the plants weren't long for this world trapped in buckets, Josh and I decided to dive in head first this Sunday and here is what we did!



The plan with the old dirt was to mix it with the new soil that D&P brought over. The tricky part was, the dirt was sitting in 2 huge mounds next to the trench, and had been rained on, baked in the sun, and even had their own colony of weeds growing on them after sitting there for 6 months! So what does one do? Put those kids to work! HA! We may have broken a few child labor laws along the way, but they were happy to go into demolition mode and break those mounds down to a nice smooth mixture. In dresses and flip flops no less!

But, alas, little girls run out of steam, and don't like being sweaty. So what do you next? Get Grandpa involved!!! Josh's parents come over every Sunday to eat lunch with the girls before they head back to their mom's house. Wver a softy, Steve couldn't just sit and watch 2 little girls and a preggo lady digging dirt, so he hopped right in. Things went a lot faster for he and Josh than it did for Josh with the 3 of us girls helping!

5 hours (yes, 5, I could not believe it!) and 24 trips with the wheel burrow later, we finished!! I am so thrilled to have it full and to kiss those dirt mounds GOODBYE! The fine print on the yardwaste bin says do not dump dirt, so we'll have to add a little to the bottom each week (don't tell) to get rid of the extra old dirt we didn't use up. Then we'll have to reseed the grass where the dirt mounds were, but a small minor detail that is totally worth it! Next weekend, we go pick out flowers! I can't wait!!

You gotta give a lil' push sometimes...

The girls have been asking about getting involved in some new activities. I think its fantastic and was so excited to see their enthusiasm. Specifically with Mackenzie - who is so shy. Kali usually can be swayed into trying anything once. During the last summer Olympics the girls were obsessed with the gymnastics. So it wasn't a huge surprise that they both asked if we could check that out.

I was immediately thrown back into my childhood when all of us girls went to California Cartwheel Center. It's mainly glimpses into memories that I have left, but I just remember we had so much fun, and we'd come home and practice in the front yard seeing who could do hand stands the longest. And then of course, there is the Nadia movie. A heavily abused, recorded from TV VHS of the Nadia Comaneci story. You know the Russian gymnast who was amazing. We all wanted to be her.

Anyway, we looked into it turns out CCC is still up and running and just as popular. So we signed them up for an intro class this past weekend. In getting them geared up I told them about the things I could remember. Hands down my favorite part was the giant trampoline next to the HUGE pool of foam. You could jump as high as you could and go flying into what felt like clouds. It was the neatest thing ever.

So Saturday we head on over, and I admittedly question to myself.. did they move? Downsize? Gosh it seems so small now. There is the "giant" trampoline and "giant" pool of foam as promised, but it sure doesn't seem as giant. Ahhh the joys of growing up I guess. Anyway, Kenzie's class was first, which admittedly wasn't optimal as she was getting the jitters and would have much preferred to watch Kali go first. By the time her class was called she had a death grip around my leg and was near tears. The teacher let me carry her in and sit with them while they started class. For the first 5 minutes she flat out refused and begged me to let her leave. My heart broke in so many ways. I never, ever want to do something to cause her to cry, ever! But at the same moment, I know in my gut this is something she will love, she just needed to give it a chance. So I just kept repeating it to her that she has to at least try. After the kids finished the first exercise the teacher asked them to come stand by her, I took this opportunity to kind of shove Kenzie in the mix and duck behind a wall. She could still see me but I wasn't in the area with her anymore. Man, if looks could kill - she was well aware of the maneuver I just pulled. So once I felt like she wasn't going to have a complete melt down, I went back into the room where Josh was, lined with windows so we could watch. It took all of 5 minutes before she was running around with the best of them, doing summer salts and... well, attempting cartwheels. It was the cutest thing ever.

We were thrilled to see her skipping to us after the class was over, followed by one of the teachers to come give her a high 5 and tell us how great she did. So Kenzie was beaming, the teacher was all excited and said "did you have fun?!" and Kenzie said "YEP!" and she said "OH GREAT! So you'll come back next weekend?!" ... "NOPE!" Oh for peet's sake Kenz.

So I think we are going to sign her up for another week and not give her the option LOL. Because Kali was about to pop out of her seat having to watch Mackenzie get to do it for an hour first, and the second the called her class she was barreling thru the door to go do it, and LOVED it. So I think Kenzie will regret backing out when we sit week after week watching Kali do it!

The first thing Kali said? "Can I get one of those pretty leotards like the other girls have?"... thats Kali for ya!!

I see rain

And Fritz said I wouldn't. Just sayin.

Me and Fritz, we are about to have a problem

Fritz is the "weatherman" if you want to call him that on the Channel 4 11 o'clock news. I usually can hold one eye open long enough to hear his weather report before blissfully passing out asleep every night. (Sometimes I'm woken up on the couch at 11, just to move to bed when Josh is ready lol) With California weather you have to kind of figure it's not rocket science. So usually good ole Fritz with his tiny glasses and beady eyes is not far off. Unless we have real weather. Well, are supposed to have real weather. Example: this week. Monday night he says, and I QUOTE! "The rain will hit Ventura County some time Tuesday evening, and then you will have showers on and off thru Thursday." K, sounds great thanks Fritz, nighty night.

Now I must pause to explain that finding out rain is coming was once a happy occasion. Until you have dogs. Rain for us now equals either muddy dogs when you get home, or having to pull them into the backyard on the leash before work, wait for them to do their business, then lock them in the kitchen all day while we are at work. It's a pain, and I hate doing that to them.

Tuesday morning I wake up and it's a bit dreary outside, but I figure fair enough a storm is a brewing! So, rather than locking the dogs up in the kitchen for 3 whole days, and deal with Chance having an accident, I happily send them outside figuring the rain will not come till we are home anyway. Well Fritz was WRONG! We are literally driving to work as I see rain drops hitting the windshield. Sigh. Fritz's only saving grace was that it never rained that hard, so we thankfully did not have muddy dogs when we came home!

Last night while watching The Biggest Loser, I hear the preview for the news, and its Fritz, his beady eyes now taunting me saying "If you hated the weather today, you are gonna hate tomorrow!" Sure enough come 11pm he's claiming full on rain for today. So, imagine my surprise today, when my alarm goes off, I throw open the curtains to be BLINDED BY THE MORNING SUN!!!! Fritz, YOU ARE A LIAR!!!

Thats all I have to say about that!!

Where Assumptions Will Get You

I look as though I have a basketball under my shirt. There is no turning back now, no way to conceal my secret and protect Jack from the world. Not that I didn't want people to know about him, but I liked that it was my decision whether or not people knew at first. Don't get me wrong, I ham it up, running into someone I haven't seen in a while and squealing with delight about whats to come. However, there is always some Eeyore, some dark rain cloud lurking somewhere. This week, it was at the grocery store.

Josh has taken care of the grocery shopping for what seems like the last month so I volunteered to tackle it by myself this week and let him stay comfy on the couch. (he was minutes from dozing under his B, too cute!) So off I went, filling my cart with the usual suspects for the week. Our splurge dinner happens to be bratworst, which we boil in beer and onions before throwing on the grill. So I grabbed a 6 pack of beer and threw it in the cart. I eventually made my way to check out, unloading my cart while the cashier got started. I should say, this cashier actually lives in my neighborhood and stopped at the house JUST to ask about Rufus because she sees him at the fence during the day and can't get over how adorable he is. We've since exchanged stories and while going through her line in the past she's whipped out her cell phone to show me pictures of Bowzer, her bully. So it caught me off guard when she scanned the 6 pack across and with a horribly judgemental eye on my stomach, asked for ID in a tone that was obvious she did not approve. As I bit my tongue, I thought of a few things I wanted to say, I wanted to give her a piece of my hormonal mind, and let her know that only in my dreams would I be able to go home and crack one of these bad boys open right now... or ask for a pack of cigarettes too, just for kicks, or lastly.. point out that she should open her eyes to the gallon jug of chocolate milk she's about to scan and realize theres a much bigger chance THATS for me to pig out on. Really lady? We swapped doggy pictures and you have to ruin all that by assuming I'm a knocked up alcoholic. Well, see if I stand in your line ever again! Meany!!!

On a happy note, today marks 100 days left!! That still feels like an eternity, but I'm happy to move into double digits tomorrow!

Mr. Doggy

I am not ashamed to admit that I sleep with a stuffed animal. It's something that has comforted me since I was a small child. When I lived alone having my bunny I got for my 11th birthday tucked under my arm against my side provided comfort. Tease me all you want, I don't care! When Josh moved in, out of fear of embarrassment I tucked my dear bunny up into the girl's stuffed animal net, hopefully hiding him from the elements. So, a few months later when I was having a tough day and stalked down the hall to change out of my work clothes, I immediately smiled when I saw the cutest doggy stuffed animal sitting against my pillow with a card in his lap. It was from Josh, telling me to cheer up and that tomorrow would be a new day. That night, the stuffed animal was firmly wedged in my side bringing me back to that childhood comfort and all was right in the world.

Well, that lasted about a week before Josh started teasing me. First, he thought it was ridiculous that he didn't have a name. Now, I never named my previous stuffed animals so the extent of my creativity went to Mr. Doggy. Well this just sent Josh over the edge, you can't name a stuffed dog Mr. Doggy. Oh really? I think I just did! Well, ever since then, Josh has just had it out for the poor guy. If he gets into bed before me, I'll occasionally see Mr. Doggy go flying against the wall in the hallway while I stand there brushing my teeth. Sometimes I crawl into bed and realize he's not there and look around... here are some of the places I've found him:

- In the laundry basket

- Wedged between the top of the door and the door jam

- "Hung" by the neck in a small wreath near the bedroom door

If I put Mr. Doggy on the same side as Josh I can count on him grabbing him at some point in the night and throwing him across the room. Josh claims it's because Mr. Doggy "makes me sweaty". Hmmm, I'm beginning to think Josh is jealous of Mr. Doggy! What do you think? ;0)

And yes, I know I sound crazy, but it's a kooky kind of day - ride it out with me!