Our "green" craft day

Ever since I bit the bullet and started using my sewing machine, I've become more confident in trying new things. I've got 2 partial quilts under my belt (and the instructions on how to finish them, finally! I can't wait to give it a shot!) as well as a few other projects. I made a new cover for Jack's boppy pillow. I am completely perplexed on how a baby item has the most stiff and uncomfortable cover on it. So I found a flannel material and it is much softer now! I give myself a pat on the back because that's a hard shape to do!

Anyway, fast forward to this weekend, and the girls and got busy with some "green" projects. Josh and I aren't huge tree huggers, but we try to do what we can. We are pretty diligent about recycling and not wasting water that kind of stuff. In the last year we jumped on the reusable grocery bag band wagon and stopped using so many plastic bags at the store. Well, it kind of opens your eyes to things you are wasteful about. Every morning we pack up milk and cereal to bring to work. So every morning I fill up a zip lock baggie with cereal, just to toss it an hour later once I've eaten. Seems a bit like a waste to me... and as much as I like to recycle I'm not big on reusing 'disposable' items either... I don't want to be that creepy person in the office with a zip lock baggie she's been using for 3 months and its crusty and gross. So call me a bit superficial, whatever LOL. ANYWAYS... that lead me to google "reusable sandwich baggies.." well who knew there was a whole market out there for that! Low and behold.. we made our own!

Once I had one under my belt, the rest came together quickly, and the girls love any opportunity to pick out some fabric and use the sewing machine. This offered great practice for them, straight lines are a cinch! They are lined with a water proof vinyl sort of material, and have a velcro closure. It's way easy to turn them inside out and wash them.

Another item I feel like I waste is produce bags at the grocery store... half of them I fill at the store just to empty into the fruit basket as soon as I get home. I started to reuse them at the store.. but again.. it just felt kinda icky. So sure enough I googled that and found an easy pattern. I like that I can make them any size... to fit an apple or two, or a stalk of celery. If they get mucky, I can just toss them in the wash!

So I don't think my little craft projects are going to stop global warming or end all of our problems but I think every little thing you do helps in its own tiny way, and if you end up doing lots of little things.. it's still better than doing nothing!

Besides.... its a fun excuse to make things :)

Acceptance

So as I'm sitting here with an hour to go to finish my first week back at work, I think I've finally accepted that this is my new reality. As much as I want to kick and scream to not have to be here and spend this precious time with Jack, I understand that I can't. I also understand I'm not the first, or the last parent to go thru this, and if they have all survived .... chances are I can too!

All in all actually being at work wasn't so bad. The days went fairly fast (except for today.. dang Fridays.) I will admit it was when I was home that it would kind of overwhelm me. I'd look at Jack and my heart just feels like someone is squeezing it in a not nice way when I think about just how badly I actually missed him that day. Thursday was the hardest because I went to see Phantom of the Opera (more on that in a bit) and essentially didn't see him all day. I came home, picked him off of Josh (they were snuggled up on the couch waiting for me to come home) and just cried while I held him. I think though you have to go thru these motions in order to get past them. So I try not to think to hard about it at work, so I can keep it together. I'm ok with sitting in the dark, on the couch, holding my sleeping baby and letting the tears flow for a minute. I know it will be ok!

I looked around the house for a minute this morning and just thought... My God. What happened? When I was home all day, I'd pat myself on the back for being able to multi task while being with Jack and still keeping the house in check. Well, that went out the window. Trying to create a new routine including baby and work... a little harder than I thought. I'm shocked at how fast the days go. Even with all the planning in the world the night before, the mornings are rushed and chaotic... and by mid week we were so exhausted that the planning the night before wasn't really happening, so those mornings were even more mayhem. Add to that, our week was a little out of the ordinary anyway. Wednesday Josh and I took a half day off of work to head down to Long Beach for Back to School Night. The girls have tough teachers this year, I'm excited for them though, it will be interesting to see how they react to teachers that keep them in check! So it was a late night getting home Wednesday. Then, as I mentioned earlier Thursday, Amy and I went to see Phantom of the Opera. O.M.G. .. it was A-MAZING!!! It was everything I'd hoped it would be!! However, what I had not hoped for was the 101 being shut down from an accident and Amy and I sitting there not moving for 40 minutes. That meant I didn't crawl into bed until a quarter to one. This all equals a very tired Megan. No rest for the weary though... as I write this Josh is on his way home from picking up the girls for the weekend... and since we get so little time with them, we end up jamming quite a bit into the time we do have.... never a dull moment!

So.... this is my reality and there may be parts I wish I could change but I think its important to always have things to strive for, otherwise you'd stop having that drive to work hard everyday. So right now, my goal is to get into a job where I can join the flex (work from home) program at work. I'll be excited to see what my next goal will end up being after that one! Wish me luck!

Wait.. no! This Sucks!

I can officially say it is awful being back at work. I mean that in no offense to my work people because all my complaining aside, I actually have a really good work environment... it's just still slow. (To give you an idea I was caught up on all my e-mails from being gone for nearly 3 months before lunch on my first day back.) But oh. my. god. I miss Jack. It's different than anything else I've ever missed before. I feel like my heart is literally breaking. Specially since, I was so caught up in how painful it was for me, it really didn't dawn on me that he'd have an adjustement period too. He doesn't seem to be able to get into a good deep sleep yet this week and the result is, we get home, he gets comfortable and passes out. NO! I just got home! Stay awake! Lets play! Oh it kills me. I cried for days leading up to going back. It suprised me that while at work, I seem to be OK. It's when I'm with him again that all the emotions come back up. I went to go say good night to him one more time last night and just burst into tears... I changed a mear 2 diapers... fed him one... ONE bottle that day. It just doesn't feel right at all. I know this is part of life and I'm not the first, nor the last parent to deal with this. But frankly, that doesn't soften the blow one ioda!

So since I can't change that... I'm trying to focus on why I'm at work, in the literal sense. One day Josh and I want to be able to buy a home... if I advance out of my position one day I'll be (and hopefully Josh will be, too) eligble for the flex program, which allows you to work half the week from home, which would mean we could be with Jack more, and if the girls came to school here, we could be there in the afternoons with them. We work for our lives with our familes... Christmas presents, summer vacations, college funds... I've got to focus on the big picture here, and hopefully it will make the time I am with Jack that much more special.

Back To Reality...

Next week.. gulp.. I go back to work. To say I don't feel ready is an understatement. There is not an ounce of me that feels ready to leave this little guy for 8 hours of the day. We are lucky enough that he'll be with family (Grandma Tino, and Nana.. aka Pattie) so that softens the blow... but it's tuggin at my heart strings. I'm not really in the mood to talk about that.... so I'll kind of dance around that subject because it is the ultimate reason for this post.. you'll see what I mean.

In preparation for the topic-not-to-be-named, I pulled out my work clothes a few weeks ago. Well. That was a blow to my ego! As I stood there looking at 5 pairs of pants that wouldn't button piled on my bed... all the 'You are pregnant.. have another scoop" and "eating for 2" ... or my favorite "I deserve this..." moments are rushing back to me, as I smack myself upside the head.. stupid stupid stupid! On top of that, my doctor also told me to take it easy for the first 6 weeks, don't rush back into anything, exercise or dieting.. my body needed to rebuild a lot of strength so now wasn't the time to cut calories. Fair enough, but the ice cream fairy still made several deposits at my house in those 6 weeks. My bad. The last 8 weeks have flown by. On top of just getting used to life with a baby, every other week the girls were here for summer break. I felt so blessed to be able to be off of work and spend the time with them, but I will be the first to admit my hands were jam packed full. So whats the first thing to go out the window? Healthy eating. It was way easier, those weeks especially.. to either get take out or just make something quick from a box.. that wasn't healthy. Call me a bad step-mommy... I can take it...sure in a perfect world I would have made us all balanced meals 3 times a day.. but the reality is, I was too freakin tired! So bite me. :)

Anyway, now that I've filled you up with my excuses, let me assure you, I'm done with those and am finally putting things into action. This week I have started exercising... alternating between Biggest Loser workouts on the Wii Fit (they kick my ass to next Tuesday!) as well as getting back into my neighborhood walks that I love and missed so much. (I'm actually not being sarcastic there!) It feels good to sweat and feel like I'm doing something healthy for my body. I feel like I've been sedentary for way too long. On top of that... we've also jumped (it took a few tries) back onto the weight watchers bandwagon. It's tried and true and has worked for us in the past... it just took us a while to be strong enough to stick to it! But now that we are seeing results... some of us faster than others (I hate you Josh) we are committed. So in light of our new found commitment... check out these 3 new recipes we tried this week and loved!

Sausage-Fennel Subs

These were a tad bit high in the world of points (9pts per sub) but worth it, in my opinion.. plus, this came together in less than 20 minutes!! You can't beat that for practicality!

Mongolian Beef

This was another super quick dinner, which is always a perk. Warning: if you are sensitive to spice, the chile paste with garlic goes a loooong way! Super yummy though!

Yolanda's Famous Chicken

I don't know who Yolanda is, but she makes some bad ass chicken. At first, I was a tad under impressed with the seasonings.. but each bite I took, it just got better and better. I'm thinking its all in the way its cooked.. I have never fried a chicken breast on the stove and had juice squirt out when I jabbed my fork into it. I'm usually cursed with dry chicken.. so I am SOLD on this!

Anyway, those are my offerings to you for now... next week should be challenging... with my daily routine taking a huge turn (in the wrong direction, if you ask me! Bah!) Wish me luck... and not just on the WW stuff.

Still Here!

Ok so maybe I made a bunch of empty promises about writing blogs all the while I was on maternity leave and then I never did. But can you blame me?! Rest assured, I go back to work a week from tomorrow (kill me now) and I will have lots of time (assuming work is still slow) to catch you up on all sorts of things!

I honestly can't believe Jack is 8 weeks old this week. It has gone so fast, just like everyone warned me it would. But I'll tell you, I have absolutely loved every minute of it. I don't think I realize how tired I am. I'll be going through one of my normal days home, revolving around when Jack is hungry, wants to play, wants to sleep, and plan things in between. I will feel like man I have GOT this! I could so do this stay at home mom stuff. Then Josh comes home from work and I run an errand and I'm standing at the check out counter wondering why the credit card machine won't accept my driver's license as a form of payment. It's a whole new level of tired I didn't even know existed! But I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Among the millions of things I have been blessed with in this experience so far... knock on wood so I don't jinx this.. Jack has slept thru the night the last 4 nights now. I'm talkin around 8pm to 6-7am... UNREAL! He went from waking up at 2am and 5am, to just waking up at 4am.. and now this. The first night it happened I woke up at 5:45 am flying out of bed thinking the monitor was broken or something was wrong because Jack hadn't woken up yet. But alas I opened his door and there he was, sound asleep, fists above his head (his favorite sleeping position). If he can keep this up it will help Josh and I out tremendously, specially when I go back to work!

I have managed to sneak in a few craft projects in these weeks home. The infamous polka dot quilt that Pattie and I were making is coming along great. It's on hiatus until our additional class we talked the teacher into giving us happens in October. I am so so so pleased with how it looks so far, I can't wait to be able to use it!

I've also ventured into a new thing in the sewing world - using a pattern. I have never tried to follow along and put something together, let alone something with a zipper, so I was a little intimidated. But alas, in about 2 hours I had created something! We use Jack's boppy pillow in a lot of ways, but I wasn't overly crazy about the cover that came with it. I looked up alternate covers, and they all were at least $25. Sure enough, good old google brought me to this adorable blog, www.vanillajoy.com that had step by step instructions that lead me on my way! I am so stoked with how it turned out!

Well I'm amazed that its 10pm, I've had a glass of wine, am still awake, and have managed to write a blog that might actually make some sense. So if I still have any readers that might be checking, thanks for sticking around and hearing what I have to say in my little world!!